Someone once told me that your 26th year is the year that is the one. The one as in— the year where everything falls into place, the year you can finally sprint in the shoes that once felt so foreign and at times, uncomfortable. That someone’s name was Vincent. We were waiting in line for food during a random work day for lunch. I am unsure where Vincent got this seemingly arbitrary wisdom from, but it really stuck with me when he said that. I was 23 at that time, and to this day I think about his words. I finally related to what Vincent said three years ago as my 25th year came to a close end.

It was a good year, suffice to say.

Lessons learned in 2021

Stonewalling is just as bad as gaslighting.

Stonewalling: refusing to communicate with another person. Intentionally shutting down during an argument, pretty much. I didn’t know this term until this year. Don’t stonewall unless you absolutely have to, which I hope is a rarity.

It’s incredibly hard to prove intent.

Intent is derived purely from a mental state, and it’s nearly impossible to prove a mental state. This is why actions matter more than intentions. Actions speak. Intentions don’t.

It’s fun to get dressed up.

I was never really into fashion and clothes, but after going to Korea and finding an array of clothes that fit like a glove, in addition to now enjoying Korean fashion trends, I’ve come to really like fashion and having fun with what I decide to wear everyday. It’s a new feeling, and I love it. I’m no fashion expert nor trendsetter, but I certainly see how fashion is expressive, fun, and an art form.

Protect your energy and time.

You know that scene from Home Alone where Kevin’s mom is on the plane, ready to go on vacation with the family, but she feels uneasy? And it wasn’t a feeling she could easily dismiss when her husband reassured her that everything was fine?

That’s how I felt this year— I felt in touch with my senses and just knew what to expect based on my intuition and energy. I have a hard time believing that it’s just pseudoscience.

Many of my close friends know that I am not much of a religious, horoscope, astrology type person, but after some conversations with some friends who have dealt with life in difficult ways, I began to think that the universe wasn’t all just plain jane. This isn’t to say I am some spiritual-hippie now, but I just sense that there’s something swaying around that isn’t pseudoscience, but something beyond the unexplainable. Some may say I am just very paranoid and superstitious now, but I don’t feel that way.

I do the following to protect my energy and time:

Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it and say what you want in life as if you already have it to manifest it into your life.
Do not waste your time around people who truly have no good intentions for you. Walk towards peace which often requires you to walk away. Choosing to engage is choosing to drink poison.
Lastly, if something is good and going well, keep it private and protect that. Don’t post it on social media and only share it with people you can wholeheartedly trust.

meaningful relationships require active listening and vulnerability.

This applies to all meaningful relationships that involve friends, significant others, family, etc. You need to be able to listen to them, but also be willing to show your vulnerable side when they listen to you. If you just actively listen and never show vulnerability (and conversely— show vulnerability but never actively listen), the relationship ceases to grow, and it will inevitably become stagnant.

Best friend and I in Omaha, Nebraska (2021), Swipe through

experience your 20s.

I love the decade of the 20s. Obviously, I don’t have much to compare it to, but I do believe the 20s is a fun, youthful decade to explore yourself. Blatantly put, it’s the time you can make mistakes, try new things, and not have to commit to much without any major repercussions. Just don’t go too crazy and be mindful of building stability and your future.

I went to the club for the first time! Would I go again? Probably not, but had fun. (2021)

Marriage without kids is a life you can idealize as well.

I never really thought about kids until I was 25. Most of my friends would express how they want kids and how they have baby-fever. I couldn’t relate one bit. I still can’t—if there’s a bucket full of puppies and babies, you bet I will be running towards those puppies.

I figured it was worth pondering about because I’m not that young any more— I can technically have a kid right now, and it wouldn’t be considered outrageously young. Plus, I figured it’s good to dance around this subject before I have to really decide. I followed the subreddit, Fencesitter, as result. It’s a funny, yet insightful subreddit. Reddit is my favorite social media app by the way.

Anyways, when I hung around friends who were married without kids, I would see how much they enjoyed life. It was just as much as those who enjoyed life with kids minus the crying and expenses. And when I saw that, I felt so much peace. It was nice to see such a different perspective for once. The idea of starting a family is so idealized, romanticized, and expected—we don’t ever hear much from people who don’t want kids in a favorable light. Married couples without kids are always pushed into the shadows.

For now, I don’t think I want kids. The idea of raising dogs with a husband sounds awfully peaceful and comforting to me.

Normalize & Take advantage of living at home in your 20s.

Let’s normalize this just as much as it has been normalized to move out at 18+ in America. If your home situation is good and there are opportunities for you to grow, you can view this as a privileged opportunity to invest the money you save from not paying rent.

…Living at home will rapidly enable you to literally save / invest thousands of dollars and get a jumpstart on building wealth. Also, the idea of moving out is a very Western / Eurocentric mentality that you don’t have to subscribe to.
- Malak K., financial coacH & Friend

I am not saying it’s a dumb idea to move out and pay rent—some of us have to or want to for very justifiable reasons. I’m merely suggesting the normalization of living at home because many feel pressured to move out due to societal, western norms. And of course, don’t get too comfortable should you choose to live at home.

If your teeth hurts, go to the dentist right away.

I never get cavities. I floss and brush my teeth every night, so I canceled my dental insurance (I get them cleaned twice a year too). Big mistake. I got a cavity despite by hygienic efforts. Didn’t think much of it. Cavity worsened. Big bill paid out of pocket. It’s fine I didn’t have insurance, but the fact that I didn’t make efforts to take it seriously was painfully remorseful especially when I received the bill.

We’re all kids acting like adults.

I asked my mom at what age she felt like she could truly understand life and its complexities. She said 60. She’s 62. Some of us are just better at acting like an adult and appearing like we have our shit together.

Sometimes distance is healthy despite it feeling like it’s not.

Sometimes you need to distance away from the people you love the most. You need time to be alone and independently form your own thoughts, and others (ahem, parents) need to learn that you can figure things out.

You’ll always be your parent’s baby though.

No matter how grown-up you feel, your parents will always view you as their baby. Even when you’re 50 and they’re in their 80s— you are still their baby, kid, and forever child. Be patient, and try to understand them.

COntinue to build relationships in all aspects of life

Back in 2018 I was obsessively fascinated with the concept of protein ice cream. This was when protein ice cream was at its peak. I wondered how ice cream, a delight that is eaten as a treat, could be marketed as something that is low in calories, yet full of protein— a literal walking paradox. And I thought— what better way to learn more about this than meet the person who markets these ice creams? So I did just that. I met with the Director and Head of Marketing of Halo Top and Enlightened Ice Cream, Danny.

Danny was so kind of enough to let me info-interview him. We met up, grabbed coffee, and discussed his career journey and how he was able to market both brands so successfully. After that info-interview, I felt so inspired by him, and it ultimately lead me to where I am today.

Until this day, we are still in touch and I consider Danny to be a great mentor. He continues to inspire and advice me to be a better professional and person. I know I can always call or text him, and he’ll be there to help. I am very lucky to have met him, and I wouldn’t be where I am in life without him.

It’s rare to meet these types of people, but so pivotal to continue to try to find these people and build relationships with them— and it most certainly does not have to relate to just careers.

Danny currently consults for major CPG food companies. He’s a creative, marketing wizard.

never praise a fish for swimming.

Give credit when it’s due though.

sunscreen, retinol, and moisturizer is all you need.

I went to three dermatologists this year, and all three said this is all you need to have a good, preventive skin-care regimen. They did also say Vitamin C Serums are a good to add, but optional.

My favorite products (I have oily skin, and these are Korean products so keep complexion color in mind):

Sunscreen: Dr.G Green Mild Sun SPF50+

Retinol: Tretinoin RX Cream (prescription from doctor)

Moisturizer: Dr.G RED Blemish Clear Soothing Cream

For those who have love a lot, more will be given.

… and for those have little, even that will be taken. Your life changes when you love yourself. When you truly love yourself the whole world loves you. The job market loves you, other people love you, money loves you— everything loves you. Fill yourself up with love and more will come.

Respect yourself

Make conscious decisions on a daily basis to get you where you want to be in your life. You unknowingly disrespect yourself when you choose to procrastinate your own needs, choose to be mindless, and expect others to help you.

Be present

Don’t waste time obsessing about where you are in life— try your best to not let yourself subconsciously compare yourself to others as well. Focus on being present with where you are, and be authentic to yourself. Be honest about what you want and don’t want. You deserve to genuinely enjoy life but that starts with you actively choosing to live a life that is true to yourself.

And that’s a wrap on the lessons I learned in 2021! This was honestly such a good year, and I am so thankful. You can tell that the tone of this piece is drastically different from my reflection on 2019, found here: Hello 2020. It was a fun, healthy year, and I finally feel like I can sprint in the shoes I now perfectly fit in.

Cheers to celebrating 25 years of life, onward to enjoying my 26th year in 2022!

with much love,

Sarah

2020 Lessons

I never got around to publishing the lessons I learned in 2020. Drafted it up, but never had the inkling to publish it. I’ll stick with that gut, and just list what I learned. I do want to share one lesson in detail though. It helped me a lot. Please find it below.

Written January 2021, reflecting on 2020: In 2019, I was incredibly stressed and simply not satisfied with myself no matter what I achieved. Looking back at it now, a year later, I actually achieved a lot. But I was in this weird mindset where I couldn’t feel any emotions about it. You can read about that here (Hello 2020). In contrast to this year (2020), I felt calm and really in tune with myself. I actually caught myself enjoying the small moments in life again, moments I had missed out on in the last 2 years. Working remotely and then having more time at home helped me a lot, unbelievably a lot.

Your main source of happiness shouldn’t come from external sources.

I was having a conversation with my brother about how unhappy I was with a past job of mine. Granted, it’s hard to find a job that fits, especially for those who just graduated college. But he reminded me that my happiness shouldn’t come from people/relationships, my job, where I am living— aka external sources. I remember he said, “Sarah, for example, a lot of people complain and say LA sucks, and they say that’s why they are unhappy. But you can’t just think moving out of LA will suddenly make you happy.”

It’s a weak correlation to insist that your unhappiness is coming from an external source, a common thought often mistaken as a sole causation. Much of your happiness has to come from within.

If mama says you need to bring a jacket, she’s right. No matter how old you are.

Spend a little more money on high quality foods.

take 3 seconds to Think before you speak.

This takes practice. Make it a habit. It’s okay to be in silence for 3 seconds.

hydrate, exercise, eat, and get out of bed.

sit up straight. stand up straight.

Good posture is important for your health and physical appearance.

***better to be opinionated than not.

***2021 Sarah does not agree with this completely now. I’d rather you have no opinion than be completely misinformed.

surrounding yourself around people who always agree with you subconsciously inhibits your growth.

it’s just as hard to argue against stupidity as it is to logic and common sense.

You’ll never regret a workout.

it should be mind & body, not mind vs. body.

a bad workout doesn’t kill a good diet, but a bad diet kills a good workout.

In other words, a bad workout has no affect on your diet, but a bad diet most definitely has an affect on the following workout. So eat well.

nothing in life is “free”.

you travel life at the speed of your age.

I’m 26, so my life is traveling at 26 miles per hour (mph). My dad is 65, so his life is traveling at 65 mph. It’s going much faster for him. There’s not much time left— life’s speed accelerates as we age so learn to enjoy the present with yourself and others, keeping their speed and time left on earth in mind.

friends, parents, significant others can be really good to you, but toxic to the world. Don’t be blindsided.

there are friends just for play vs. friends who help during hardships. both are great friendships.

Good things take time.

Relax, no need to rush into becoming an “adult”.

And that’s an official wrap. I hope you enjoyed this read. I’m going to start a new note on my iPhone to start accumulating lessons learned for 2022. I’m excited to share that next year. Until then, I’ll see you later. 👋

Lessons Learned at 25

It was a good year, suffice to say.

Lessons learned in 2021

Stonewalling is just as bad as gaslighting.

It’s incredibly hard to prove intent.

It’s fun to get dressed up.

Protect your energy and time.

meaningful relationships require active listening and vulnerability.

Best friend and I in Omaha, Nebraska (2021), Swipe through

experience your 20s.

I went to the club for the first time! Would I go again? Probably not, but had fun. (2021)

Marriage without kids is a life you can idealize as well.

Normalize & Take advantage of living at home in your 20s.

- Malak K., financial coacH & Friend

If your teeth hurts, go to the dentist right away.

We’re all kids acting like adults.

Sometimes distance is healthy despite it feeling like it’s not.

You’ll always be your parent’s baby though.

COntinue to build relationships in all aspects of life

never praise a fish for swimming.

sunscreen, retinol, and moisturizer is all you need.

For those who have love a lot, more will be given.

Respect yourself

Be present

with much love,

Sarah

2020 Lessons

Your main source of happiness shouldn’t come from external sources.

If mama says you need to bring a jacket, she’s right. No matter how old you are.

Spend a little more money on high quality foods.

take 3 seconds to Think before you speak.

hydrate, exercise, eat, and get out of bed.

sit up straight. stand up straight.

***better to be opinionated than not.

surrounding yourself around people who always agree with you subconsciously inhibits your growth.

it’s just as hard to argue against stupidity as it is to logic and common sense.

You’ll never regret a workout.

it should be mind & body, not mind vs. body.

a bad workout doesn’t kill a good diet, but a bad diet kills a good workout.

nothing in life is “free”.

you travel life at the speed of your age.

friends, parents, significant others can be really good to you, but toxic to the world. Don’t be blindsided.

there are friends just for play vs. friends who help during hardships. both are great friendships.

Good things take time.

Relax, no need to rush into becoming an “adult”.

With love,

Sarah

AHNESTKITCHEN | S_SJNIEE